I used to think it mattered....

I used to think it mattered if my hair looked good.  When I was in my twenties, and a hairdresser gave me a bad haircut, I threw a brush.  Last week, to save some money, I bought hair coloring at the supermarket.  The directions on the box were in Spanish, but I figured I could follow the pictures and do it right.  However,  my hair seems to be slightly green.  In my twenties, I would have been horrified, and probably run to an expensive salon to get the color fixed.  But now?  I am just wearing a lot of black.  Red would make me seem like an elf this close to Christmas.

I used to think it mattered if people came over and saw that my house was a mess, proving that I am a real slob.  But now we live in a small casita, with no dishwasher.  Our food and dishes must be stored on open shelves.  Ken is studying every spare minute so there are computers, wires, yellow legal pads, and notebooks all over.  We are fostering the sweetest dog, Lilly, so there is a dog bed in the middle of the room and her toys and bowls scattered around. Last night, I invited our new neighbor to have dinner with us.  I didn't clean....we sat on the spare bed and ate at the coffee table....real plates, but paper towels for napkins.  She brought Tang to add to water.  We laughed and enjoyed the food (from a local restaurant).

I used to think it mattered  if I was a little overweight.  (I know being thinner would be healthier, of course).  I spent about thirty years dieting. If I could add up all the money I spent on Weight Watchers meetings and their chemically enhanced "foods",  I am sure I would be horrified.  I went to weddings and skipped the rolls or dessert.  I ate fat-free, sugar-free things that I am sure made me far less healthy than a few extra pounds of weight.  Now, I am a size fourteen. I am not on a diet.  I walk a lot here in Mexico, not for "exercise", but because I have to go places and we have no car.  Some days, I look at myself in the mirror, greenish hair and all, and say "hey, you look pretty good for being almost 60!"  I can see my double chin as I am saying this....but I don't concentrate on it...or my stomach.

I used to think it mattered that I spent time watching TV.  I would fret over how many hours I was wasting, imagining that if I didn't watch TV I would write a novel, cook healthy gourmet dishes, or sew my own clothes.  And maybe someday I will write a novel. I already am a heck of a cook.  And,when I think back to the outfits I made in high school (pink print Nehru jacket with bell bottoms; purple print jump suit with lace around the collars and cuffs) I know it is much better that I buy retail.  As for TV?  I have been watching since the days of the "Howdy Doody Show".    And since when did a little "Bridezilla" ever hurt anybody?  Especially as I am always reading a book at the same time.

So many things do matter:  kindness to friends and neighbors, volunteering, donating to charity, laughing every single day, working for candidates you believe in....I hope that these are the kinds of things I do more and more....green hair or not.

Twenty Things I'm Thankful For This Year

1. The day before Thanksgiving, 2010, I had my last breast surgery....after my mastectomy in June, 2010.  I am thankful to the radiologists who read my mammogram and caught the DCIS so early, to Dr. Audra Hanley, my primary care MD who has cared so well for me, to my surgeon, Dr. Linda Weber, who has no ego and tons of skill, and to my plastic surgeon, Dr. Steve Rockmore, who looks about 26, and is a breast magician.

2. This year, I will spend Thanksgiving in Mexico.  I am thankful that Ken had the courage to bring us here.

3. I am thankful for our beautiful foster dog, Lilly, who was saved by our friend Jenny.  I am thankful that Lilly is alive, thanks to Jenny's kind heart and courage.  I am thankful for Lilly's vet, Greta, who makes house calls.

4. I am thankful for Lesley and Gary who care for our NY dogs with love and compassion.  I miss Emily and Molly so much...but I am thankful that they are safe, healthy and happy.

5. I am thankful that my parents never once tried to make me feel I had abandoned them by coming to Mexico.  I am thankful that they are doing so well.

6. I am thankful for Facebook and e-mail and the friends who keep in touch with me from far away.

7. I am thankful for the courageous people involved in "Occupy Wall Street"...not just in NYC but all over the world.

8. I am thankful for the Coyoacan Sanborn's, which really is my home away from home.

9. I am thankful for Jon Stewart.

10. I am thankful that Beth Janney Dahl came to visit us here in Mexico City.  She wasn't ever afraid and opened her heart to the Mexican people.  She never complained.   I am thankful that we tried the "VIP" movie theatre.

11. I am thankful for the women I met at dance class.  They offered me their friendship, invited me to parties, and made me feel like "one of the group".  They have taught me so much about their country.

12. I am thankful that UNAM (the National University of Mexico) offers such great Spanish classes for people like me.

13. I am thankful for my Kindle, and for all the wonderful authors who have made my life so much richer this year:  Luis Alberto Urrea, Ann Patchett, Jonathan Franzen, Jennifer Haigh, Rebecca Skloot, Eric Larson,Toni Gardner, Paula McLain, Emma Donaghue, Laura Hillenbrand, Amy Waldman, and Abraham Verghese.

14. I am thankful for the color, art, music, food, museums and history of Mexico City.

15. I am thankful for Juan.

16. I am thankful that we had the opportunity to visit Puebla, Acapulco, San Miguel and Puerto Vallarta.

17. I am thankful for my cousins...although we lost Bonnie this year, I am thankful that we were friends for a lifetime.

18. I am thankful for Henry.

19. I am thankful that I never watched "Friends" when it was on regular TV, as it is on four times a day here and I am enjoying it for the first time.

20. I am thankful for conchas, one of the most perfect confections ever created.