I used to think it mattered....

I used to think it mattered if my hair looked good.  When I was in my twenties, and a hairdresser gave me a bad haircut, I threw a brush.  Last week, to save some money, I bought hair coloring at the supermarket.  The directions on the box were in Spanish, but I figured I could follow the pictures and do it right.  However,  my hair seems to be slightly green.  In my twenties, I would have been horrified, and probably run to an expensive salon to get the color fixed.  But now?  I am just wearing a lot of black.  Red would make me seem like an elf this close to Christmas.

I used to think it mattered if people came over and saw that my house was a mess, proving that I am a real slob.  But now we live in a small casita, with no dishwasher.  Our food and dishes must be stored on open shelves.  Ken is studying every spare minute so there are computers, wires, yellow legal pads, and notebooks all over.  We are fostering the sweetest dog, Lilly, so there is a dog bed in the middle of the room and her toys and bowls scattered around. Last night, I invited our new neighbor to have dinner with us.  I didn't clean....we sat on the spare bed and ate at the coffee table....real plates, but paper towels for napkins.  She brought Tang to add to water.  We laughed and enjoyed the food (from a local restaurant).

I used to think it mattered  if I was a little overweight.  (I know being thinner would be healthier, of course).  I spent about thirty years dieting. If I could add up all the money I spent on Weight Watchers meetings and their chemically enhanced "foods",  I am sure I would be horrified.  I went to weddings and skipped the rolls or dessert.  I ate fat-free, sugar-free things that I am sure made me far less healthy than a few extra pounds of weight.  Now, I am a size fourteen. I am not on a diet.  I walk a lot here in Mexico, not for "exercise", but because I have to go places and we have no car.  Some days, I look at myself in the mirror, greenish hair and all, and say "hey, you look pretty good for being almost 60!"  I can see my double chin as I am saying this....but I don't concentrate on it...or my stomach.

I used to think it mattered that I spent time watching TV.  I would fret over how many hours I was wasting, imagining that if I didn't watch TV I would write a novel, cook healthy gourmet dishes, or sew my own clothes.  And maybe someday I will write a novel. I already am a heck of a cook.  And,when I think back to the outfits I made in high school (pink print Nehru jacket with bell bottoms; purple print jump suit with lace around the collars and cuffs) I know it is much better that I buy retail.  As for TV?  I have been watching since the days of the "Howdy Doody Show".    And since when did a little "Bridezilla" ever hurt anybody?  Especially as I am always reading a book at the same time.

So many things do matter:  kindness to friends and neighbors, volunteering, donating to charity, laughing every single day, working for candidates you believe in....I hope that these are the kinds of things I do more and more....green hair or not.